The Heart of a Leader...

This weekend was the annual girls flag football tournament that I coach for my church. Unfortunately we lost and didn't even get into the semi-finals or anything like that. It was a mixture of all things bad refs, missed catches, missed flags, miscues on coaching, and every other variables that could come up. But for me especially it got me thinking a lot and I was pretty devastated. Not only because we lost but because I know how much time, effort, heart, and hopes that my girls put into this tournament and to end in such a way with no climax my heart broke for them. I felt like Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt promising them a land full of milk and honey then...wandering around the desert for 40 years and dying right before entering the promised land. So close...but not quite enough.

Then I started to think of all the leaders that I've heard of (i love armies and generals etc) and what it must of felt like. For Napoleon to lead his army across Europe only to have his men freeze to death and die from disease or for Japanese samurai's in the movie The Last Samurai to lead their men with swords and arrows to go against the machine guns of the white men. Knowing that they will die. Atleast...in the Japanese culture the leaders could kill themselves and not face going back in defeat. I really couldn't imagine going back to GCC with such a loss...and I couldn't even look at my girls in the eye because I felt I failed to lead them to the tangible reward of their effort. I can't even fathom Napoleon riding back to France with more than half his army dead or injured. I wonder what that ride back into the city would have been like. I probably wouldve chosen the Japanese way out if I wasn't Christian.

But I remember my Jesus. I envy him, because He is the only one that can 100% guarantee that your efforts will not be in vain. That the amount of effort you put into His kingdom, maybe you wont receive it on Earth, but in heaven you will receive the reward in full. Humanistically, I don't know if I have the heart to push someone so hard knowing in the back of my mind I may fail to deliver it. But in Christ, I can do my best to lead not because I can deliver anything but because through me Jesus can deliver all.