Hope

1We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."[a] 4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ......May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15

I forget so many times that this is a broken world and that I'm apart of it. Coming from a solid family and having friends with families that are all together I forget that in the real world there is so much brokenness in family. Satan attacks and breaks up the family as much as possible because the scars and pains that a broken home leaves can stay with someone for their whole lives. Ever since Costa Rica i've been thinking a lot about families and this morning I read an article on DJ's blog about the rise in Korean suicides in the US.

Some experts trace the increase in the suicide rate, in part, to the nation’s rapid transformation from an impoverished agrarian society to a booming industrial power. Traditional family support systems have fractured, age-old value systems have dissolved and materialism has flourished, they say. And those changes continue to steer the lives of recent emigrants to America. - New York Times

 In this article parents of a 20 yr old daughter covered themselves in gasoline and burned themselves to death in their own apartment while their daughter went to a friends house, leaving a note saying “I love you, my daughter. I’m very sorry to leave you alone. It would’ve been much better if you had a wealthier father.”, and left her $40 dollars in the envelope. I spent the other night sleeping over and spending time with the orphans from Korea. I asked many of them, "What's your hope? What's your dream? What do you want to do when you grow up?" and sadly many of them didn't seem to have much hopes or dreams. Most were lonely. Even when in a big group they had a "I'm alone" mentality.

 We need to wake up and understand that there is a problem out there. That the devil is at work mightily to break God's people. To take away their Hope. Take away their joy. Take away their peace. But we turn our eyes from these things. The devil turns our gaze to the riches of this world and behind our backs destroys our families and crushes our foundations. I wish. I just wish that I can help people understand the hope that comes in Jesus Christ. That they are not alone. The Bible says, "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves". This is my prayer today, that God would make me strong, strong enough to be the bringer of Hope to those who are broken.

Compassion

Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him. - Matthew 20:34

Sometimes I forget this word, "Compassion". I'm so busy running around that I forget that things aren't just skin deep and that everyone has hurts and pains that don't come through unless you really observe. In the Bible the word compassion is used over and over again. Jesus when he heals or teaches doesn't teach because He just wants to give good information or show His power. He has compassion. Jesus sees us and has compassion on us that there are hurts, scars, and emptiness in our hearts that sometimes we ourselves don't even realize but He comes and slowly starts to mend this brokeness in us so that we may be whole in Him.

I hope that God grows my gifts further and further so that I may be able to see this world the way He sees it. That I may be able to discern the hurts and pains of the people around me and have compassion for them rather than just superficial relationships. There is apart of me still that is still cold and still want people to be the way I expect them to be and I don't take the time to look further into the persons individual life and experience which has grown them to be the way that they are. God give me the eyes to see, the heart to feel, and the mind to understand as you do.

Joy of the Redeemed

Strengthen the feeble hands,

steady the knees that give way;

say to those with fearful hearts,

"Be strong, do not fear;

your God will come,

he will come with vengeance;

with divine retribution

he will come to save you."

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened

and the ears of the deaf unstopped.

- Isaiah 35 3-4

This passage is titled the Joy of the Redeemed. The whole chapter is amazing and inspiring but I picked these two short verses because it captured my heart the most. I think back to the days before Christ. So much fear, so much pride, and so many protective walls that I built up for myself. I even forgot how to smile and my reputation was built to guard my heart from an unforgiving world that would attack any weaknesses in me.

But Christ comes and he saves us. He comes and strengthens our trembling hands and our shaking knees. He makes us stand up straight, not out of arrogance or false pride in ourselves but because of the understanding of the love that He has for us, because of the fact that we know that God is with us, we stand firm. He comes and opens our eyes and ears to things that we never knew existed. We once thought we knew it all. We thought by reading, studying, and experiencing we were above it all but He comes and shows us that the knowledge that comes from this world is foolishness and the scales on our eyes is lifted and we are renewed through the mind to see the things of Him. There is no more fear. There is no more doubt. There is only strength and confidence. Boldness that only those who are called can have. Boldness not in ourselves but in the fact that God has promised us that where ever we go whatever we do He will be with us and He will come and rescue us. This is the source of my confidence.

First will be Last

"I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first." - Mark 10: 29-31

I have not written in so long! Being on vacation then mission trip really got me off track with this thing. Anyways. Yesterday I had lunch as a group with the CEO of all of Colgate and being that he's a leader of this huge company I wanted observe everything I can about him and learn from his leadership how subtle that it may be. There is one particular thing that I noticed and its something that unless you were watching you may have missed, and its this, He is always served Last.

Most people would expect since he is the CEO and at the head of the table he would be served first and start to eat first but its the contrary. He is always the last in line on the buffet line to get lunch, he is served his drink last, he is served his dessert after everyone else has gotten their dessert. Some may say "oh its a coincidence" or "he's late so he has to be last in line" but this is my third year in a row having breakfast or lunch with him and its always been the same so I believe that its very intentional on his part to show a culture of Servant Leadership.

In the Bible, Jesus says that those who are First shall be Last and those who are Last shall be First. Servant Leadership. The world tells us that Leaders have power and strength but the Bible teaches us humility and servants heart and many of us forget this and fall over to the secular mindset of what a leader should be and this leads us into arrogance and pride. I'll be leading small groups once again startin in the next few weeks and I pray that God will make me a leader in this company one day as well. As God puts us into positions of influence I hope that we can remember how Christ has served us so that we can serve others as He has.

Who is worthy? Who among us is without sin?

4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." - John 8:4-11

I think many of us forget something that is probably the most important mindset that a Christian should have. The fact that none of us ever was or is worthy of anything and we deserve nothing. In the beginning of time at the fall of man when Adam and Eve introduced sin into this world the punishment was death which means that none of us breathing and living today should never have been given the opportunity to live. However, many us of go day in and day out thinking that we are doing things in our own strength or through our own righteousness, but in reality the very fact that we are able to breathe is by the grace of God. Everyone take a deep breath. Take a moment to think about that breath and reflect.That breath that you just took was because God has been gracious enough to give you that breath.
But like stubborn and ignorant children we ask God for signs of his existence and for God to grant us our wish in order for us to know that he is real. Don't we realize? God owes us nothing but we owe Him everything. There is nothing else that God needs to do for us. He has already given us life when we deserved death then on top of that He made the greatest sacrifice of all to send his one and only Son to die on the cross and STILL we ask God for more. We pray for blessing upon our lives and for comfort for our families. WHO among us is worthy of this grace? I think we can all come to the unanimous conclusion that it is none of us.
I love this passage with the first encounter Mary Madeline has with Jesus, right as she is about to be stoned I think Jesus does one of the most amazing things, more amazing than turning water into wine even. He shows us who we all really are with just one statement that implies one question, "Who among you is without Sin?" and we see that all can relate even 2000 years later because we realize that we are all with sin. We are Sinners, but we sometimes forget that in church. We think cause we come to church, serve, and lift up our hands during worship that somehow we no longer are sinners but when we actually stop to think about it we all know. We all know that we are the worst of all sinners just as Paul declared for himself. But I think whats worse is that people who look into church from the outside don't realize that the church is full of sinners. They stand in the outside and can't step in because they feel that no one else will be like them. That one else sins or doubts as much as they do when in reality its completely the opposite! We are not in church because we are righteous! We are there because we recognize how depraved and unworthy we are! Because we've come to realize that without Christ there is nothing, there is nothing for us in this world. We've tried to strive on our own, immerse ourselves in the pleasure of this world, pile our lives with work and worldly success and through it all we realize even more clearly that it is all rubbish without the Love of Christ.
I hope and I pray that we never forget the depths of darkness that we came from. That the world does not look at us from the outside and see a group of self righteous "holy" people but rather they see the brokenness in us. That they see a group of sinners just like them, a place where they can enter and be accepted and comforted. I can't stand to see someone so lost and so deceived by the devil that they think they do not deserve Christ, when in reality...there is no one on earth who deserves Him, that is why it's called Grace.

What is a Man? and What is Love?

My Dad always had his 1 line theories about what a man is supposed to be, "A man never lies", "A man keeps his word", "A man takes care of a woman", "A man finishes what he started"...etc etc etc. Whenever I did something that wasn't "man" like he would whip out one of these one liners and put me in place. I guess since I've been hearing these since I was a kid and my family being so "male" dominated I grew up believing in these words. Lately I've been thinking about what it really means to be a "man" and what it really means to love.
I've been watching a lot of movies on TNT because I was on vacation for a week and TNT was playing back to back movies during the holiday weekend. All these movies for some reason were so inspiring and it showed the courage of "men". Ladder 49 is about a fire fighter who dies saving a life. When he met his wife she says something ,"You know..thats pretty cool.. when everyone is running away you run in". Is that what defines a man? Courage? That when things are going wrong we won't run from it but we face it head on. The other movie that got to me was Cinderella Man. A movie about a real boxer during the depression and how he fights and becomes the hope of a nation. In one of the scenes his youngest son gets sick because he can't pay for the heating bill. His wife Mae sends the children away to their Aunts and the father comes home and finds his children gone and the look of defeat in his face was just heart breaking. And he says to his wife "I looked straight into his eyes outside the butchers and I promised him. I promised him that no matter what I would never send him away.." (speaking about his son). Then he doesn't say a word and walks out goes to the relief bank and borrows money for the first time in his life. Then he goes to Madison Sq Garden where all his old "friends" are playing cards and goes around receiving change from them to pay the heating bill. UGH. I almost cried. It reminded me of times when someone's word had so much weight. When a promise actually meant something. I can't imagine having to take care of a whole family. When the decisions that I make not only effect me but it effects the lives of my children and wife.

I think back to my own family and my own dad. Coming to this country with nothing. Starting a church with only like 30 people max at the highest point of the ministry, doing it for 10 years while raising 2 kids. Watching your wife work 12 hrs a day for 6 days, driving delivery trucks for the cleaners during the day and prepping sermons at night. I don't know if I have the heart to serve God that faithfully while probably feeling as if I'm failing my family. Another scene in Cinderella Man is where the boxer's manager's wife and his wife is sitting and drinking tea. One woman asks the other "Can you stop your (referring to husbands) when they set their mind on something?" and the wife answer "I sure can try.." and the other womans answers "I don't know how they do it. Everyday they go on feeling as though they have failed us". UGH. hahah. Just breaks my heart and I worry that I'll one day be in that position and how I would be able to handle it. I can't imagine the sadness and despair a man would feel not being able to take care of his family.

Shin and I went to Boston the other week and we talked a lot about relationships and love seeing that the place we stayed was one of our friends who just got married. We reflected on how we've lived and the relationships that we've been in. We realized we made so many empty promises. The words "I love you" was used so easily and promises like "no i'll always be there" or "i'll take care of you don;t worry" things like that and we reflect back now realize that we've broken many hearts as well. I don't think its because we were liars we said the things we said. However, I don't think we knew what we were saying and the weight of what it really meant. We were...too young to even realize. I always joke that the girls prime ends at age 25 and guys prime begins at age 25. I don't really know bout the girl thing but for a guy I think its relatively true. Before really living in the "real" world I don't think we know enough or have experienced enough to understand what it really means to take care of someone or love someone. I watched all these movies prior to this weekend but this weekend it really made me think deeper into what it means. I understood what the words really meant. Shin said that his idea of Love is a decision that he makes. That when he says it next it'll really mean forever. I thought about this and I think in a way its true. Love may start with butterflies in the stomach or a crush but at the end its a decision we need to make. When there is no food on the table will we love? When there is no heat, no good times, when things all crumble will we love?

I believe the Love that God showed us and that Jesus showed us was a decision. God decided not out of emotion but out of love to send his one and only Son to save us. Jesus decided not because of the butterflies in his stomach but out of love to be beaten and hung on that cross. I think so many people divorce or cheat now a days because they don't understand the weight of the words they spoke when they said "I do" and "I love you". I'm still not 100% sure what it is to be a "man" or what it is to truly "love" but I think God is slowly showing me even through movies that it really means one thing...sacrifice. Sacrificing our own pride, our own standards, sometimes even our self respect which is a huge thing for guys. Shrugs...who knows..this can be a never ending thought...

Charismatic Christianity

"The term "Charismatic Movement" is sometimes confused with the term "charismatic." The word "charismatic" is an umbrella term used to describe Christians both Protestant and Catholic who believe that the manifestations of the Holy Spirit such as the ones seen in the first century Christian church (see e.g. the book of Acts ), such as miracles, prophecy, and glossolalia (speaking in other tongues or languages), are available to contemporary Christians and may be experienced and practiced today. The "baptism of the Holy Spirit" is central to the movement. However, the speaking in tongues is not part of the initial evidence but later developed. It is important to the movement to revive the gifts such as healing, tongues, interpretation of tongues and prophecy as part of ministry since the gifts seem to have been neglected by the church. The word "charismatic" is derived from the Greek word χάρισμα ("gift," itself derived from χάρις, "grace" or "favor") which is the term used in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 12-14. By definition, a charismatic should be a joyful, grace-gifted Christian. The "Charismatic Movement," however, expresses the arrival of spiritual gifts in the historic mainline denominations." - Wikipedia

Today I want to speak a little about Charismactic Christianity and my thoughts on such things. It may get controversial because everyone has different opinions about it but this is my opinion. I was speaking to my brother and he was telling me about how Charismatics are starting to influence his church and how he felt the a twist in his gut, a feeling that something wasn't right. I feel this way many times about Charismactic Christianity as well. I believe many people desire to do the right thing. They grow up all their lives and hear about how we need to be radical for Christ and how it's ALL IN or nothing, but we see ourselves day after day falling short of such a calling. We grow up and see people crying, screaming, speaking in tongues, wailing, and dancing around crazily around us during a retreat or revival and we ask ourselves "Why not me? Is God not with me?" And people grow up with this heartful desire to WANT to be in the spirit yet with the guilt of not being able to do so.

I believe this is a perfect medium for Charismaticism to overwhelm some Christians today. I remember when I was first born again and filled with the Spirit my mind was blown. I was so excited. I wanted everyone to come to Christ and know what I know. Nothing else mattered to me. I served every ministry I can serve in. I cried all the time. I talked to random people on the street about Jesus. I spoke up in class and preached in middle of a college lecture. I did "Crazy" charismatic things. Then, I crashed and burned. Slowly as I matured in faith I understood what it meant to be steady and calm in Christ. However, some people fall into Charismaticism because for all there lives they've longed to be "Crazy" for God and when the spirit first hits them the emotion that it invokes and the genuine surge that comes over them (desire to read, desire to pray, desire to fast, etc) is just overwhelming and Charismaticism is the best and most accepting way of expressing it. But it can lead to such a dangerous road.

I am not saying Charismaticism and spiritual gifts are irrevelant, they are vital parts of the Christian walk and Christian faith. However, we need to be able to understand and control our gifts from God not let it control us. I hear many Charismatic christians talk about movements, spirit of this or spirit of that, the revival that broke up here and there, the prophecies that are posted on the web by any who feels they have a divine prophecy from God, visions, dreams, voices, demons, possessions, and etc. All these things in itself can be good, but when it becomes the sole foundation of our Christianity and the way that we worship it leads to a foundation on too many emotions and humanistic things. If God does not show you a vision are you not filled with the Spirit any longer? If you can't speak in tongues does that mean you are not near God? If God decides not to move and no revivals break out have we sinned? Don't we know? God is always moving. Whether it manifests into a physical sign God is moving. God is always here. God is always with us.

Another common thing I hear about Charismaticism is the talk of "going back to the church of Acts" and being "Raw" for God or even sins are labelled something fantastic like "Spirit of Jezebel". Jezebel is dead. Her spirit does not attack us till this day. Although it doesn't sound as glamorous, this sin is plainly called lust and it comes from the sinful nature of our natural hearts. All these things to me in my opinion are such hype ups and it glamorizes Christianity so people can be fascinated about it. It is true. There are many things that we need to learn from the church of Acts. But let's read further into the Bible. Is the church of Corinth and the church of Ephesus just like the first church of Acts? And if it wasn't did it NEED to be? No, we focus too much on one aspect of the Bible and glamorize it into something that people can believe in. When you go to Africa you see the need for a lot of Charismatic tactic in spiritual warfare because it is such a "raw" place. Black Magic, demonism, voodoo, and all these other spirits show themselves through demon possessions, blood sacrifices, chants, and etc. Satan attacks these people in a different way. In America another, and China another. Therefore the point I am trying to make is the fact that we don't need to go back to the Church of Acts. The church of Acts did the things that they did because of the spiritual warfare that they were facing called for it. I am also all down for being "Raw" and intense for God but I think it is more important to "Genuine" and consistent before God. I have seen more people come to genuine love for the Lord through quiet discipleships and Bible studies than I did in the emotion packed Revivals and screamings prayers of charismaticism.

In conclusion I believe spiritual gifts and passion for the Lord is more than important. It is a tool set of weapons that God gives us to lift one another up and protect ourselves from this Spiritual warfare that we are called to fight. It is real. I have seen it, but I am saying that it needs to be better understood and controlled. I was at a revival once and a charismatic girl was filled with the spirit and she started to speak in tongues and roll around the ground crying and praying. Then the music ended and lights turned on and it was time for the sermon. But she wouldn't stop. Some people see this and say "Oh the spirit is moving in her!" but its because immature Christians are too immature to understand that the girl is immature. Spiritual gifts although "raw" at first must be honed and grown. Just like a pro basketball player can have the natural ability to jump and shoot. The player must practice for hours and hours and unleash their natural talent. A mature Christian can be filled with the spirit and not show one outward sign of it at all, but have maturity to unleash it when it is needed. We need to understand that God is an orderly God, although untamed and able to do all, God works in order. He created the heavens and the earth on his schedule including even a day of rest, as if God needs rest!

So I hope as we all grow and mature in Christ, it won't be because of movements, gifts, or any outwardly shown actions. Rather its a deep understanding of the grace that we received. That even if I don't see one ounce of something "grand" we will still follow God. That even if our lives are crumbling around us and we don't "feel" God, the foundation of the fact that God has died for us on the cross is enough to withhold us and our faith in Him, that in HIS time he will deliver us. Let's be mature Christians who can harness the raw power that God has given us through the spirit to unleash it in the times needed, not need it in order to confirm our relationship to God.