Leadership vs Management

I'm taking a Organizational Management course for my MBA and this topic of Leadership VS. Management caught my attention and got me thinking. There is always a controversy over these two words. Can you manage without leading? Or Can you lead without managing? In the most extreme ends of spectrum, where its black or white, managers are people who are just concerned about getting things done and trying to get others to just perform. Leaders on the other hand value flexibility and are concerned with what things mean to people.

Scholars Bennis and Nanus (no idea who they are but supposedly researched this topic) quotes "managers are people who do things right and leaders are people who do the right thing". As my college ministry days slowly come to an end I look back at my leadership throughout the last 6 years of ministry and I wonder what I was. In the perfect world, as I wrote in my MBA class discussion paper, I think a "leader" and "manager" can benefit one another. To just be a leader or just be a manager is too black or white. There are benefits and downsides to both.

In many churches now a days I see the biggest down fall as being a lack of management. There are great spiritual leaders and great speakers but many times what falls short is a lack of logistics, planning, preparation, and professionalism. I always here the excuse " God will take care of it". I think when we look deep within ourselves, we can see that this saying, although it should come from an absolute faith in God's sovereignty, it comes from a core of carelessness. In ministries I see that when someone is careless it is so easily accepted everything is "OK" everything is "Oh, no problem I understand". Everything is always , "Don't worry God forgives".

I know. I know God is sovereign. I know God is Good. I know God forgives. But, knowing all this for me, I already also know that even if I do 100% I will still never be good enough. Knowing this I understand grace. That no matter how much I try I am a fallen man. That no matter how much I want to I will never be able to reach heaven on my own. It is only by the grace of God because of his mercy that I even breathe. Isn't it from this knowledge that an outflow of effort comes? Why do we wait and make God give 100% all the time? I want to be able to give as much as I can even if it means its only 2% and God has to offer me another 98%. But I hope that this doesn't make me into a Martha. Or just a "get the job done" type of a person.

I think, I hope that I've been both a manager and a leader. That I've inspired the people I've met and that the ministry I've done has brought someone closer to God. That I've understood people. But sometimes, I think I've been more of a manager than a leader. That I've run around like Martha planning events and running meetings. I wonder if there will ever be a perfect balance. Where leaders in church will understand how to manage better and managers in the corporate world will learn how to lead better.

I want to mature and understand this balance.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." - Romans 12:12

I was reading last night and I came upon such a simple but profound verse, Romans 12:12. Usually I always remember Romans 12:2 (do not conform any longer...etc) because its such a popular and powerful verse. But yesterday I was drawn to this short and seemingly insignificant verse.

If you go back to the passage and read it in entirety you understand that the whole passage is about love. I think lately I've been lacking love. Love for the people around me, love for God's work, love for God himself. As I run around and try to take on this world I forgot joy of just loving and being loved by God. I feel myself more drawn to the world and I see that my actions and my words don't portray the deep love I have for the Lord. Rather I seem to keep it hidden and let it out only in private times. This passage I feel is a gentle nudge from the Lord to refocus.

here is beginning of the passage...

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

- Dave

Nostalgia and a New start

Today I got home today and took a walk down memory lane. My childhood is only about a 15 minute walk from my new place. This is where Shin and I met as second or third graders, where I got into my fights with Eric Zimmer, where Shin and I used to run around and egg houses, steal crommies off cars, play roller hockey, play manhunt and just be kids (now that I think of it...I'm kind of scared of the kids living here...crap...i hope they don't egg my house...)

29 Cosgrove Ct. my families first real home.













This was basically where I lived out my childhood













Bball Court by my house...







As I was walking back to my house I realized time goes by so fast. I never would've dreamed that I would be back where I started. In the same neighborhood 20 some years later. I always thought I'd be somewhere grand. Doing something big. But nope, just back in good ole jerz. In the same ole neighborhood I grew up in. God really does work in mysterious ways.

- Dave

Is God pleased with me?

I'm sitting in my first home and everything is so quiet. Although many say in a few weeks it'll be lonely, for me and for now I welcome the peace that it brings, I finally feel that I can hear myself think for the first time in months. My mind finally feels calm and my body feels soothed from the quietness of the whole house.

The chilliness of the room and the coolness of the glass desk that I set up for myself seems refreshing to my soul and I welcome all of it with a sigh of relief. Finally, I can relax. The last few weeks have been a mind boggling experience. Grad school, teaching design part time, working full time, college retreat, girls football, and everything else in between my mind was on the verge of shutting down. The first night of the college retreat, I, for the first time in my life, blanked out. I couldn't even remember the names of the cell group leaders that have been working with me for last 2 years. Complete shut down.

I wonder sometimes, if I am trying to become an over achiever. When God called me I wanted my whole life to be for him. I didn't want to waste anymore time. But tonight in my quiet and cool house as my mind starts to clear, I ask myself the question, "Is God pleased with me?".
Are all my efforts in vain? Which one of my pursuits are selfish and which one of my pursuits is for the kingdom? I had dinner with a few friends tonight and it was really difficult. I was put into a position where myself, David Lee, of the flesh and my spirit was battling and a decision had to be made. Am I gonna chose a good time or am I going to chose what my heart told me was right? Everytime I'm in a situation like this my heart really aches. My mind becomes so tired and I wish I really wish that this walk that I've chosen could be simpler and easier. But I have to keep asking myself this question, "Is God pleased with me?"

I'm afraid one day I'll wake up and realize, that I was fooling myself. That the things that I've pursued and the decisions that I've made were not what God wanted me to pursue. That I've fooled myself or deceived myself without even knowing. Many people have many nightmares but this is mine. That God would not be pleased with me. That I've lived this life that He's given me for my own. That my selfish desires of the flesh has taken me. I do not want fame. I do not want recognition. I do not want some status. I want to know that God is pleased with the things I've done.

This house, this job, this ministry, this life. That all these things at the end of the day God will see it and be pleased. That all these things were not because of my selfish desires but because of the grace of God that he has blessed me with it. That he saw that I was responsible with one talent therefore He has given me responsibility over 5 talents. That my master is pleased with His servant.

In conclusion after all this thought I realize one simple truth. I need to pray more. Why am I so insecure?